Dreams and memories
I haven’t slept well in weeks, and it shows: I have been under some stress as of late.
So sadly, no dreams – or rather, fractured ones, fleeting images, flashes of ideas that are, later, difficult to understand.
I do have memories, though. I am driving by a restaurant, and think about sharing a dinner – or I go to a festival, and miss the perfect person to talk to; these manteaus would look good on her – but she is not here.
Sometimes I remember her smile, watching her in an elegant dress, or simply dancing to some music. I imagine her smile, her patient demeanor, her calm poise.
Those places that I used to frequent are full of memories. I go there alone, or not at all: with whom am I going to share the surprises, the food, the hope? The night is so dark without the moon!
I go there and pray to run into you, at work I forget to watch the kids and stare off thinking of you. Everything is the same everyday and I’m numb to all of it. I keep little things that remind me of a day we had, the way you smiled, or of the smell of your soap. Mostly I just glide through the day refusing to feel because it’s to overwhelming for me to deal with.
The moon with be full in June.
What state are you living in now? Please get some sleep, thats such a horrible feeling to go without sleep. XO